Mabuhay! I am Micaela a.k.a. micamyx/toshtengs in the world-wide-web. I am a fresh Information Technology graduate born and raised in Dagupan City. I am a certified member of the NBSB (No Boyfriend Since Birth) club and I'm proud of it! I'm a TRUE TAURUS. Daughter of a former disc jockey and Chief Nurse, a caring sister to a 13-year old special child . I Love Performing and Philippine Showbiz! I may be intimidating at first, but later on I'll prove to you that FIRST IMPRESSIONS NEVER LAST. I can be the best gURLFwend you'll ever have!
The trip back home to Dagupan last Tuesday is somewhat different compared to our previous trips. This time it was only my grandfather and I who went back to the province. I had this sort of strange feeling because we used to be crowded inside the car. Lola sat beside lolo, Ate Virgie stayed on the back (right side), Carlo stays in the middle and my place is at my lolo’s back.
Lola didn’t go with us because she had to entertain some of her visitors and she wants to spend more time with my aunt who is about to go and work in Sweden. My grandfather didn’t want me to sit infront because he wants me to sleep at the back (I didn’t sleep the whole night).
Carlo used to bring his favorite CD whenever he go on long trips. This time, Lolo listens to an AM radio station. I had some conversations with him regarding the news and some random stuff and I know that he appreciates that.
Carlo is the Michelin Man! hahaha 
When we reached the penthouse, I went straight to my room and he went to the office. We ate lunch together and I took a short nap after. I was online the whole time and he was watching tv. We ate dinner together and we went back to our own business and there. The house is sooooo quiet - No more slamming of doors, no more cry baby, no more loud tv, no more laughing kiddo, no more teddy more. No more kulit boy.
Staying in Dagupan kills me. It’s not that I don’t like my hometown, but every part of the house reminds me of Carlo. The silence is making me feel so lonely.
After three weeks being away from my hometown, I finally went back together with my grandfather last tuesday morning. I only knew about it on monday night at 10PM and where was I that time? Enjoying some coffee and wifi at Gateway. We don’t have a maid right now because of reasonable reasons and I don’t want to elaborate on that right now LOL.
Anyway, I am used to travelling from Dagupan to Manila together with my brother Carlo. He woul usually go upstairs first and go straight to the comfort room to urinate. After which he would change his clothes and will turn the tv on. Staying with him in this house is like living in a korean romantic-comedy movie - full of cute scenes, funny scenes and yeah, crying scenes.
Taking a glimpse at my March 2007 entries made me feel so useless.
I used to blog every other day and I used to be so expressive with my feelings and my opinions towards random stuff.
My life is not really boring, but i dunno.. I feel so blank. Basta.
I have a lot of things in mind that I want to blog about and I never ran out of ideas, but it seems like i’m having a hard time typing them and sharing them to whole world.
The sponsored posts are gone too because of my Page Rank.
The only reason why people visits my blog is because of my entries related to Marian Rivera, Katrina Halili and Cristine Reyes.
I didn’t even find the time to work on the articles for Carlo’s blog. Again, I’m a failure for my advocacy and I hate it!
I even cancelled my plan of buying my own domain. Lazy? I guess.
I have to be active in blogging once more. I have to!
Alam ko na kayong lahat ay nagkakandarapa sa pagpaplano kung saan kayo pupunta ngayong darating na semana santa.
Ako naman eto, nakatunganga 
Si Carlo ang lagi kong kasama noong mga nagdaan na taon. Kahit nasa Dagupan lang kaming dalawa, masaya na ako kasi kasama ko siya. Hindi ako nag-iisa at nararamdaman ko ang pagmamahal ng isang kapatid.
Noong nakaraan taon ay nagpunta kami sa Zambales. Doon ko nakilala ang iba ko pang pinsan (3rd or 4th generation na ata) at talagang napaka-memorable nung bakasyon na yun.
Ngayon, eto ako. Eto wala lang. Walang makakasama. Walang mapupuntahan
Dumating ang mga kamag-anak ng aking lola mula Australia at America at sa Bicol sila magrereunion para sa Semana Santa. Sinabihan nila ako na next time na lang daw ako isasama dahil puro daw sila matatanda at hindi rin naman ako kasya sa kotse.
Hindi rin ako makapunta ng Zambales dahil hindi ko pa kayang mag-commute papunta doon.
Ayoko din naman umuwi ng Pangasinan dahil wala rin naman akong makakasama. Baka magparamdam pa tatay ko dun nakakatakot din naman.
Ano kayang mangyayari sa akin? Dito lang sa Condo? Si Ate Leny nga pupunta sa mga pinsan niya sa Laguna. Ako siguro manonood na lang ng Kim Sam Soon.
Sinong gustong umampon sa akin? :’(
Carlo ang hirap pala kapag wala ka.. Mahirap maging masaya promise :’(
I am now working on the premise of my first ever short film (hopefully). Ok, I am not yet done with it and I’m not so sure if I’m going to push through with the subject, but I am hoping that one day, I will be one of the first to tackle about the “reality” of having an autistic family member – the joys, the pains and most of all, the sacrifices.
I dedicate this project to my family most especially to my inspiration, Carlo.
So maybe some of you are wondering : How’s Carlo?
It’s been a month since my brother left the country. Lolo gave me some pictures of Carlo and I have uploaded them on my multiply site. It seems like he’s well-adjusted there and everyone loves him up to the extent that my mom doesn’t need to buy some food for him because Carlo is being loved by our mama’s friends and they keep on giving him some foods like spaghetti, corned beef, pizza, burgers etc.
He’s also studying already. He is presently enrolled in a public school for special children and my, he loves the place! His tuition fee is taken care of by the government and a school service is also available. He usually sits beside the driver haha :p
Yesterday, Mama received Carlo’s report card with a butterfly on the cover. Here’s what the teacher wrote in the comments section:
“Carlo is really a star. He loves to sing and entertain everyone. His smile makes our day complete!”
Carlo. The boy who is destined to be a star. The boy who loves to sing. The boy who loves to entertain. The boy who smiles like Jollibee. The boy who is oh-so-sweet. The boy who loves to eat. The boy who made my day complete for the past twelve years.
I promised myself to maintain a blog about Carlo before he left. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to update it and now I feel guilty.
Carlo, I do really love you and I really wanna be with you. I wanna hug you and kiss you once again.
But I have my own dreams, my own ambitions, my own life.
I know you’re waiting for me. Don’t worry, one day, I’ll be with you again. One day, I’ll be in England.
I’ll be in England with you and Mama dear :)
