Boredom. Sadness.Heartbreak.Depression

 Most of the people I chatted with today are either bored, depressed, heartbroken or sad. I can say that I felt a little bit of everything I mentioned.

BORED - I slept at 10AM and woke up at 4:30PM. I ate my late lunch and took a bath. I am supposed to meet up with some friends but for some reasons that i don’t really know, my activity for the night was cancelled. I, an individual who wants to save up some moolah decided to just stay at home and think of what I should really do with my life.

Here’s another thing. A few hours ago, I was craving for Mc Do Cheeseburger but I have less money left for the entire week, I asked Ade and Jehzlau on what they will do if they’re in my position.I WANT cheeseburger meal but i NEED to save money. I ended up choosing the latter as suggested by my two friends. So there. I ended up cooking an instant spagetti and boiled egg. I think I made the right decision.

(After asking them that question, I realized that i am REALLY REALLY REALLY BORED) 

SAD - My mom called me up the other night. I went to Gateway to access free wifi. Carlo was online that time so i rushed to the MRT carrying my laptop and went straight to my ehem.. coffeeshop (twittards know what i’m talking about). When i logged in, they signed out. I called mom up again and asked them if they can go back online. She said they can’t since Tita Girlie, the owner of the laptop is about to go to work. They did sent some pictures of Carlo taken during his 13th Birthday and as expected, he’s fatter now.

When I saw the photos, I cried in Figaro (ok fine, i revealed my other home LOL). I was waiting for the other pictures to load when Carlo talked to me on the phone and said "Miss You" (as dictated by mom LOL) then suddenly, he sang the chorus of Akon’s "Don’t Matter". I know that the song is more of a lovesong or whatever, but hey, i find it sweet   and yes, i missed him more. I can’t hug him. He can’t hug me back and we have no choice but sacrifice.

HEARTBROKEN - I can’t really say that I am really heartbroken na as in heartbroken na heartbroken talaga. It’s just that the other night, I listened to this one particular song that is really close to my heart. The song tackles about tears and happiness. The said song is a very positive one (melody and lyrics wise), but the same song reminded me of one thing that I regret up to this day.

I think the problem with me is that i tend to fall in love with guys whom i thought i had some deeper personal connections with. I tend to fall for guys who can balance their personal, academics and extra-curricular activities because I am like that. If i get to know that person deeper and he shows that he is somewhat interested in knowing me better, I fall easily. Then I start assuming things and the "what ifs" pops up (What if he feels the same way too? What if we officially become a couple?). Because of too much assuming ideas, i tend to hope for that person to be my boyfriend, and little did i know that i was expecting too much already. Ending? Wala. As in wala. Ilangan factors comes up and there, wala na. As in wala na nga!

Another revelation: Majority of the guys that I was interested with never had a girlfriend. In short, they are the type of individuals who puts career and family at the top  of their priority list and love life in the bottom.

Just like me.

"I need energy! Gimme some Gasoline!"

DEPRESSED  - I am really depressed with a lot of stuff that I would rather not elaborate. Wait, I want to elaborate further but I can’t find the right words.. (thinks)

Ok. It’s merely about my priorities in life. I should take not of this:

PROPOSAL - I should work on this before the semester starts or else, i’m dead and I’d be stuck in Dagupan forever.

BLOGS - Writing Gigs. SEO activities. Enough said.

PAPERS - NBI Clearance, Passports, NSO

JOB - Find a descent job related to IT so that I can go to England in few years time and yes, I want to be rich!

SHORT MOVIE - This is supposed to be my priority but then i just realized that I can’t make a good film if i am worrying too much about the 4 mentioned above.

 So there. I ended up writing a long entry.

 I feel better now

—– 

 Special thanks to Shari and Maki for my spot pics LOL